End of my journey today
End of my talks today
End of all the lies today
End of all the virtual existence today.
As I wait to see you around
My mind wishes to go away
It knows for it feels for you
The feeling never told.
The thought never shared
Truth never known
The ache remained
Remained for time to laugh
For reality to mock
For my heart to linger over it
For my soul to cry over it
For she might have thought
When all are present
Why is no one looking at me?
Doesn’t my picture show?
Doesn’t my voice reach?
Don’t I sound human?
Do I sound like an existence unnoticed?
An existence left to be perished
An existence to brood over mortality
Now I am gone
Do you want to stop me from going?
Do you want me to be for you?
Do you want me to cover myself in the dark?
Now I am gone, gone forever
Will you ever think about me?
Why is she gone, to feel solitude?
Why is she gone, to feel lonely?
Why is she gone, when all of us want her now?
Why is she going for a journey unknown?
Why is she going, to be left stranded?
Why is she going for a voyage unknown?
Batch of 2011-13
I began climbing towards the peak,
Chances of conquering it seemed bleak,
But inspired by the old man’s vision,
I continued on my torturous mission.
A heaven grew on the top, he said,
Formed of the snow and on dreams it fed,
Many had tried to reach it, but had failed,
It was a dangerous storm for any ship that sailed.
Filled with mysterious paths and pristine snow,
The mountain stared haughtily at those below,
Full of determination to break its arrogance,
I climbed on, unafraid of the consequence.
The air around us grew thinner and sparse,
I smiled, knowing it was all a farce.
The mountain was introducing obstacles,
But we had to escape from its tentacles.
Suddenly one of my companions lost his foothold,
He let out a cry frightening even the bold,
Swallowed by the unending mist beneath,
His voice slowly died out, trapped within its sheath.
The others lost heart and began climbing down,
But I could not return defeated to my town,
I had to silence all those doubting voices
Victory was essential to justify my choices.
My beloved was there, awaiting my return,
She had chosen me, a man who didn’t earn,
She went against everyone’s wishes to be with me,
For our future this conquest was the key.
Drawing in a deep breath I continued my ascent,
Memories and hope sharpening my intent,
Clouds of ice grew out of my breath,
My fingers turned cold in anticipation of death.
Hunger and thirst mattered no longer,
My slowing heartbeat only made me stronger,
I became a dead body animated by a will,
My blood flowing like the ink from a quill.
Finally, I saw that the peak was very near,
Mustering my courage and conquering my fear,
I landed wearily in the land of my aspiration,
Proud as if I had found a new nation.
But there was no heaven up there,
Only snow as far as I could stare,
The air blew mercilessly shattering me,
I broke down, uttering a fervent plea.
Then I realized the meaning of heaven,
It was the voyage, not the ocean,
Paradise sprung from my blood and tears,
Its beauty and magnificence allayed my fears.
There, standing radiant was my greatest love,
Dressed in white, pure like a dove,
Her smile washed away my wounds and scars,
Whole I was once again, shining like the stars.
As I was carried away by the gentle wind,
I looked below at those depths that had sinned,
But now they looked back with benevolence,
They were peaceful now with no violence.
Thus began my ascent…
He stands still, his hands shivering
For never in his life he has read or felt such pain
It has hit him deep down under, deep into his stomach
Hard unto his chest and scared the rest.
His world stood still, as he tried to get it all off
“This isn’t real, this can’t happen”, he says and tries to look around
His fear has pulled him down, frozen him to move forever
Tears flow, but too scared to drop out of his eyes.
Standing inside the treatment room; he looked at her, seeing her facing her doom
It’s been days since she has eaten; now she will reach her destination
This was a letter left to read, about the truth he hadn’t known, it was written by her
For him to face the truth, for the static current will cure her for a lifetime, off to salvation.
In the letter she wrote, for him to know the truth
“There isn’t any use of telling you anything,
This is the way you are, you just can’t speak more than a meek word
I always scream, scream my feelings out to you though the reason goes unheard.
You believe in beginnings, for me end is the ultimate bliss
You prefer to be silent, I prefer to be violent
You prefer to be distant, but I missed the closeness, for I never knew how to love
You were always present in your own world; I looked for you all around my globe.
You knew I wasn’t all right, for you stillness became your might
You tired to fix, when they were not broken, but you didn’t realise they are just hanging
The yearning and crying made me feel like this clown, in an unknown town
Putting up a circus of humiliation for myself, lost when you were busy fixing yourself.
May be you realised we were just the same, just with different names
Standing in front of the mirror, you look at it; do you see me, crying to break free from it?
How can I possibly live, when I don’t wish for anything else other than death?
How can you possibly love, when blankness is what you are always fed?
Do I still sound like a mere imagery of all that’s gone wrong?
Do you still hear the broken sound of my finishing tape all along?
For you life is a journey, for me learning to live but preferring to die is the intention
Fair is the white star of twilight to throw me in the dark, and give you the light.
For you failed to realize you were the only soul who could help me, make me live, you were the only one for whom I felt to stay back in this mortal world”.
Futility of existence had crept in me, my perforated soul wanted to break the deciphered life to be set free,
As he looked at her being electrified, he remembered her words “you will learn to live, till then I would have died.”
He realized all was just a game, no start, no end, that day he too had died.
Died as human, died as a man, died as a lover, died as his love for her was never understood, neither by her nor him.
MMS – A
Carrying itself proudly with a distinguished look,
Splashed across the screen like reflections from a book,
Bearing the weight of my unspoken thoughts,
My virtual self bears my almost daily onslaughts….
Expressing more than I ever left unsaid,
Speaking to total strangers, its reach widespread,
Its power potent and leaving hearts stirred,
Its flight high and free like that of a bird…
A weapon unique to those who use it,
Either for political change or for simple wit,
Singing the song of a silent shy heart,
Bearing the golden touch of a master’s art….
But a worry constantly troubles me,
Is this a wishing well that bears a heavy fee?
In the process of becoming more virtual,
Are we losing touch with the actual…..?
The joy of being with loved ones,
All those words and those actions,
Sharing moments with dear friends,
Though not your fault, trying to make amends…..
Thus as we begin a new voyage,
This is something we must manage,
Balancing our alter egos with ourselves
Making sure we have memories lined on our shelves…
MMS – A